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A trade association editor at an area publishing company, the giddy 25-year- old spends much of her free time primping, preening and planning for an upcoming April wedding. But while she admits to not knowing a zone blitz from a Coach purse, into even her life a little Tebow must fall.
"What can I tell you, he's beautiful," she said, with a laugh. "My fiance knows. If Tim ever gets my number, we're probably going to delay the wedding a while."
Though it was worn this year by anonymous freshman cornerback Loucheiz Purifoy, the blue-and-orange No. 15 made famous over Tebow's four Florida seasons remains a hot ticket in myriad sports shops and department stores across Gainesville, not to mention en masse in the Swamp on game days.
Outside the stadium, just an arm's length from fellow Gator legends Steve Spurrier and Danny Wuerffel, the bronze statue of Tebow unveiled last spring draws an overwhelming majority of pre-game photography traffic from fans - both home and visiting.
Par for the course, says local sales executive Drew Jasinski.
"It's awesome how big the phenomenon has become. To me, he represents everything you want in a leader - someone you want to root for, not criticize," the 2004 graduate said. "He is part of the Gator Nation and the people who live in Gainesville. He is like family to all of us.
Their hero's next chance at a miracle comes Saturday night in Foxborough, where most people are convinced he'll need exactly that to help the Broncos defeat their top-seeded opponents in the AFC playoffs - Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.
"They let him play how he plays," Foley said. "Throwing the ball on first down, things like that. That's what he did when he was here. You didn't see that with him before (in Denver). It works."
Of course, the true believers will point out the Steelers were nine-point picks last week.
"If he wins, that'll be great. Because I'll to watch him play for another week," she said. "But if they lose, it won't be so bad. If he comes back to Gainesville, I'll be happy to give him a hug."
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Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).
Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.
Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).
Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.
Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.
The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.
What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.
Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.
But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.
In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.
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